


Days Like This

by Nonbinarytoni



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drabble, I, Idk I got bored and it's cold in my house so, Idk angst I guess?, M/M, Oops, There's cuteness in it tho I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-28 01:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2713886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbinarytoni/pseuds/Nonbinarytoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When days like this came, Lovino became apprehensive.</p><p>He knew what would come and he knew he wouldn't be able to ignore it.</p><p>It was days like this that Lovino felt empty, when he felt hollow because for some reason, all emotions were gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days Like This

When days like this came, Lovino became apprehensive. 

He knew what would come and he knew he wouldn't be able to ignore it. 

It was days like this that Lovino felt empty, when he felt hollow because for some reason, all emotions were gone. 

Days when the sky was cloudy, sun hidden all day behind the clouds, unable to poke out even briefly to warm the land beneath. 

Days when a cold chill winded through the trees and pierced through even the heaviest of jackets, making all victim to shivers and runny noses.

Days when he felt like his emotions and inner being resonate with his chilling surroundings, as if they were one in the same during the barren Winter. 

It wasn't like Lovino minded too much, he'd rather feel empty than too many emotions like he normally did. Days like this were what kept him sane, half of the time. Days like this made him realize that even though he thought nonstop and felt things so intensely so often, even that could be numbed with the right head space. 

Sure, his counselor would tell him that feeling numb wasn't something that was supposed to be treasured, that it wasn't something that one should want to feel, that didn't mean he could help it. When he stayed up late in the night, crying because he thought too much about the simplest and there was no one awake to talk to, sobbing because he just couldn't stand the intense ache he felt all over, unable to help himself from falling into old habits, he longed to be numb. His psychiatrist couldn't be more wrong, because wanting to be numb at a time like that was the best thought he could muster. 

Days like this, Lovino only felt cold. He could only feel his fingertips, frigid compared to the warmth of the center of his hand, or the way the wind swept past and froze his nerves on the back of his neck while walking to school. He never bothered with gloves or a scarf, they didn't give him a reason to walk faster. 

But it was also days like this when he knew someone cared. When he absolutely, without a doubt, knew that someone wanted him to feel something good, great even. 

On these days, Antonio just couldn't keep his enthusiasm to himself. More often than not, there was snow on the ground that he ended up rallying his friends to play a nice game with. 

Days like this were when Antonio knew.

He would invite Lovino over, make them both some hot chocolate, and curl up with him in bed. He'd wrap his arms around Lovino's middle, pulling him close enough that he was forced to feel Antonio there, forced to hear Antonio's whisperings of affection and delight to have Lovino in his life. 

Lovino would end up relaxing in his arms without much of an excuse because the fact that Antonio was /warm/, that Antonio /cared/ and /loved/ him was enough for him to try. It was enough for him to try and feel, enough for him to listen to Antonio and believe him, to turn around and wrap his arms around Antonio too. Enough to make him rest his head on Antonio's torso and just listen to the steady rhythm of Antonio's heart, because he was here. They were together, they loved each other, and Lovino knew he could never forget how to feel love. 

For Lovino, his love swelled from his stomach and and spread warmth throughout his body. It made him long for affection, to be held, to be cared for. It made him feel so much more deeply than any other emotion, he had to treat it like the most important one. He could never push it down or ignore it, it demanded to be felt. 

And on days like this, Lovino is forced to experience love again. 

Days like this only came occasionally, but Lovino wasn't scared of them anymore. They would pass.


End file.
